My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It had to happen sooner or later, I guess. Even an upbeat incurable optimist has the occasional bad day, although it takes a lot to get us down.
Yesterday, a lot happened.
First, bugs invaded the cereal - and as it turned out, everything else in the pantry that wasn't sealed in an airtight container. EWWW!!!
Then I received notice of editor rejections for not one, but TWO of my manuscripts.
Holding onto chipper optimism by the skin of my teeth, I emailed a partial submission that an agent had requested. She wanted fifty pages and a query letter sent in the body of the email. There are so many ways that can go wrong that I'm not even going to try list them. I blind-copied myself (because I believe in computer gremlins), opened the copy when it arrived in my inbox, and discovered that the whole thing was centered and looked ridiculous, not to mention so hard to read that no sane agent would even bother to try.
Then my beloved cat, Freckles, gave me a hint as to why dogs have worked their way into my heart. He threw up a load of pilfered dog food on my computer cord connections. Despite my diligent efforts to clean all the gunked-up nooks and crannies, my pc insists that an unknown device has taken over one of my usb ports and I can no longer access my printer.
*SIGH*
So I whined to my sister during our online chat and sent her a sad blue emoticon. And I whined to my writing buddies and I whined to my DH and I whined to my perfect dog, Penny. I listened to all their words of wisdom and encouragement and went for a walk in the park and basked in Penny's unconditional love.
Then I fiddled with the email and re-sent it with the words Reformatted Willamette Partial Request in the subject line. The second time, I eluded the gremlins.
I threw away the insect-infested food and cleaned the pantry and sprayed the shelves for bugs, then laid down fresh shelf liners and re-organized and enjoyed feeling virtuous.
I picked another editor to query.
And when I found ants on the kitchen counter, I searched out their nefariously-clever entry point (an outlet cover) and foiled them before they could do any real harm.
I decided the unknown device and printer problems weren't going anywhere, so I curled up with my own personal Hero and my naughty cat on the sofa and watched Warehouse 13.
And today, which was tomorrow last night, is a very good day.

Where I Disappeared to in July

(courtesy of http://www.freefoto.com/ )

I planned to post regularly during our vacation, and technically I did.

I posted once the last week in June and then SURPRISE, an unexpected event happened on the third day of our three-week California/Oregon trip - during an absolutely scrumptious abalone dinner at my nephew Max's house in Sacramento, to be exact.
Have you noticed that unexpected events can be good news or bad news, but at first it's often too early to tell? Not so in this case. My Aunt Jean called to tell us my mother had just been admitted to the hospital with a raging sinus infection. She'd been on oral antibiotics, but the infection got worse.
Our vacation gave way to panic (after a five-minute period of denial: Me-"She's probably just dehydrated. Maybe it isn't that serious." DH-"She's in the HOSPITAL, honey. It's that serious.") The next morning we were on the road at daybreak, headed a days' drive north to Bend, Oregon.
By the time we arrived at St. Charles Medical Center (AKA, 'the hospital'), Mom was getting re-hydrated with IV fluids and getting some pain relief from IV morphine, but she couldn't remember the word for animal doctor or that stick with the bristles you use to clean your teeth, and I couldn't convince her she hadn't gone home to find her house overrun with bad little boys who'd drawn on the walls with crayons.
Dr. Boddie (pronounced 'body'; isn't that a hoot?), my husband, and I all came to the same conclusion at about the same time: sinus infections don't require patients to be harnessed to their beds because they are in La-la Land. Something else was afoot.
Dr. Boddie transferred Mom to the ICU and ordered a spinal tap. Long story short, the infection had spread to her spinal fluid. Mom had meningitis and encephalitis (infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord as well as the brain itself), a life-threatening infection.
Luckily this story has a happy ending. Mom is one tough mother!

And the staff of doctors, nurses, medical technicians, and support personnel at St. Charles are phenomenally professional and compassionate angels of mercy.
A different combo of IV antibiotics began to kill of the killer bacteria. When Mom was strong enough, ENT surgeon Dr. Villano cleaned out all the unmentionable gunk that blocked her sinus openings and then enlarged said openings so she wouldn't get another infection. A semi-permanent IV hookup thingy called a 'pick' was installed in Mom's arm so that she could have infusions of IV drugs twice a day for a week after she went home.
I cared for Mom in her home until she could manage on her own, but I'm down to weekly visits now (in August). She's made a miraculous recovery, thanks to the St. Charles staff and some answered prayers.

I'll blog later about silver linings and messages from the Other Side, but first I'll post the one blog I wrote while at Mom's but was unable to post.

Flummoxed by a Car Hog

My DH is a Car Hog. When he's in the car, he want's to be in the driver's seat.

Usually, I'm fine with being a side-seat driver. Annoying him keeps me entertained. But when the trip is longer than four hours, I believe in switching off drivers for safety's sake (and to make sure he can move normally the next day).

Car Hogs do not give up the wheel without an argument - a long, exhausting, and often ridiculous argument. (Examples follow.)

"You're blind in one eye," he says, as if that explains anything. The great states of Iowa and Oregon both feel this is not problem; why should he think otherwise?

"The freeway winds through the mountains." Yes, and it goes straight through the valleys. What's your point?

"It's raining." Wow! Like I've never experienced that before!

"I can't relax when you drive." Not my problem. I have a good driving record. Maybe if I drove with you as a passenger more often, you'd relax.

So yesterday, he resorted to trickery.

"You can drive after lunch," he said reasonably. I agreed. I should have been suspicious, but I was hungry.

The rain stopped outside of tiny Creswell, Oregon. He pointed out a sign for a Mexican restaurant. We stopped to eat and he chose a chair facing the restaurant's front window. He lingered over a cup of cinnamon-scented coffee for a while. Abruptly, he decided it was time to leave and took the payment to the waitress.

Outside, it was pouring. "I'll get the car," he said. "No sense in you getting wet, too."

What can I say? I fell for it.
*SIGH*

Flummoxed by a Four-Year-Old

Ain't life grand?

In my day job, I work in a preschool. Our theme this week was gardening. Activities included planting seeds, learning to classify things as 'alive' or 'not alive', and reading stories about bugs, singing songs about bugs, and observing bugs.

At least, that was the plan. Due to unseasonably cool weather, our search for bugs proved fruitless. So I improvised. At home, I spotted a banana slug in the woods.

Close enough, right?

I put him in a jar with some leaves and took him to school. He impressed the kids with his four-inch length and slimy skin. Although he moved at an excrutiatingly-slow pace, over the course of the day, he made a dent in a couple of leaves. Our little students also noticed that, like all living things, he pooped.(A LOT!)

I told the kids I would take him home and release him back in the woods so he could go home. As they said their goodbye's to the ugly critter, little Sam looked up, brown eyes alight with optimism and excitement.

"When will he turn into a butterfly?"

Caution

If you're planning on leaving this mortal coil anytime soon, be forwarned: according to my DH, Hell hath now officially frozen over because I'm FINALLY blogging.

That being said, welcome to my blog!

For a couple of years now, not a week has passed without Chuck pointing out my digital shortcomings. "You're a writer, for Pete's sake! Blogging should be a no-brainer." (Yes, I censor his comments.)

Right. He assumes I am a bottomless font of wit and wisdom. As if.

But, after mulling this over for a long, LONG time, I've decided to begin weekly blogging. If I link this to Facebook in a month or two, it will help bring my page out of hibernation. Two birds and all that.

So here's the plan: I'll post on Fridays.

Umbrella topics will be (with apologies to Oprah),

I Don't Know Much for Sure--But These Guys Might
Flummoxed
PFM (Pure F-ing Magic), or God Works in Mysterious Ways
Ain't Life Grand!

Y'all Come back tomorrow, hear?