Friday, June 11, 2010

Flummoxed by a Car Hog

My DH is a Car Hog. When he's in the car, he want's to be in the driver's seat.

Usually, I'm fine with being a side-seat driver. Annoying him keeps me entertained. But when the trip is longer than four hours, I believe in switching off drivers for safety's sake (and to make sure he can move normally the next day).

Car Hogs do not give up the wheel without an argument - a long, exhausting, and often ridiculous argument. (Examples follow.)

"You're blind in one eye," he says, as if that explains anything. The great states of Iowa and Oregon both feel this is not problem; why should he think otherwise?

"The freeway winds through the mountains." Yes, and it goes straight through the valleys. What's your point?

"It's raining." Wow! Like I've never experienced that before!

"I can't relax when you drive." Not my problem. I have a good driving record. Maybe if I drove with you as a passenger more often, you'd relax.

So yesterday, he resorted to trickery.

"You can drive after lunch," he said reasonably. I agreed. I should have been suspicious, but I was hungry.

The rain stopped outside of tiny Creswell, Oregon. He pointed out a sign for a Mexican restaurant. We stopped to eat and he chose a chair facing the restaurant's front window. He lingered over a cup of cinnamon-scented coffee for a while. Abruptly, he decided it was time to leave and took the payment to the waitress.

Outside, it was pouring. "I'll get the car," he said. "No sense in you getting wet, too."

What can I say? I fell for it.


  1. MEN! That steering wheel is a precious sign of masculinity. Give it up even for a few minutes & it's like giving up Power. And then Gee, he might acutally relax. And if She gets lost, no doubt directions will be asked for and the car might arrive on time and at the correct location. My DH doesn't easily give in to me driving either unless he's super tired. So I Know exactly what you are talking about. :))

  2. Great story. When I was married, my husband and I traveled from Cottage Grove, OR to Cleveland, OH. You notice I used the word 'traveled'. I never drove one mile there or back either of the three trips we made.

    Here I drove an hour each way to work down the freeway and along winding roads. But taking the new Interstates...nope.

    Maybe it's genetic?

  3. I sense I've touched a universal feminine nerve here! LOL! Thank you for sharing your experiences.

  4. LOL... ask my hubby some day how much he drives with me in the car - the answer is 'never!' He can't relax when I'm a passenger - and I can't relax when he drives. So when we're together, I do all the driving, unless I'm sick or asleep.

    There was that one time coming back from San Diego to Vancouver and I was very ill and had fallen asleep (and told him "just stay on I-5 north) - woke up to find out he'd taken the wrong highway, we weren't on I-5 anymore and hadn't been for a while. Then I spent a good 45 minutes trying to convince this native Californian he wasn't on the correct one (I know my highways, I could tell by the surface of the road and the geography where we were). Even when the highway marker came up he refused to believe we were on the wrong highway. It musta been an evil plot on my part to relabel all the highway or something, right? It took hours for him to say he'd made a mistake. Thankfully it turned out okay - both roads lead north, just one is far less traveled, way fewer stops, narrower and far bumpier with more dips and valleys (not good if you're already sick). Someday I should blog on that drive, it was a real trip! :)
    - Susan